Participants:
A shapely young lass from Bejing,
Asked a shaman to keep her from aging.
The shaman agreed,
Had the lass fricasseed,
And found that her taste was engaging!
Cc
A certain young lass of great gumption,
'Mongst cannibals had the presumption,
To go--but alack!
She never came back.
They say 'twas a case of consumption.
Cc
A woman of thespian skill
Once auditioned on Cannibal Hill
Proclaimed one of the guys
As he cured both her thighs
'She was 'hamming it up,' if you will!'
M
There was a fair maid from Decatur,
Who kept slim so the world would not hate her.
To the jungle she went,
On mission work bent,
But a dozen fat savages ate her!
Cc
A sexy young miss in search of some fun,
Lay nude under the African sun.
Two cannibals passed by,
Then the miss, they did spy,
One saying, 'Hey, our lunch is near done!
Cc
There once was a miss from Salt Lake
To the islands a mission she'd take
She preached the Good Book
But it just never took
And they served her as Latter Day Steak
M
Patsy McMurls, resplendent in curls,
Went surfing to Delicious Girls.
And when she arrived,
She asked for a guide,
But before she could say Chewher--he did!
Cc
A lady whose first name was Sue
Stopped to sup at a joint on the Rue
But she soon found the rub:
'Twas a cannibal pub
And the diners had Sue in their stew!
M
A cannibal king spied a pretty young thing,
All alone and too far from safari.
So he took her to pot,
With gravy, a lot!
And, by golly, he never was sorry!
Cc
Young Suzi decided to get
To a Bistro Parisien on a bet
But she found they were keen
On that jeune fille cuisine
And ce soir, it will be crepes 'Suzette'!
M
Female tourists should please beware,
It seems a plot is in the air.
The bistros in France,
If given the chance,
Will feature your rare derriere!
Cc
For their frappes, they are famous, you see
And that makes you a gravy to be
The container's your size
And you'll be Osterized
They will turn you into 'gay puree'
M
A lady whose first name was Faye
Sought to visit Cancun for a day
In the sun she would brown
But they nabbed her in town
And with taco sauce, she was 'Ole!'
M
Chiquita was very bonita.
She lived in a town called Poquita.
But on St. Dolcett day,
They called her away,
And Chiquita became a fajita!
Cc
A cozy coed, cuddly and cute,
Cooed cannibal verse, just for a hoot!
She sang like a bird,
But yet was unheard,
'Tough room,' she muttered. 'I'll just play with my lute.'
Cc
Poor Ingrid, of mammaries best
Ventured too close to Oktoberfest
Their sausage, so sweet
'Twas made up of ground teat
Something they had to get off HER chest!
M
A lovely young lass was strumming her lute,
While playing a tune on her flute.
A cannibal combo,
Joined in with a Mambo,
And finished her off with a toot!
Cc
King Gurgurant commissioned a flic,
Jungle Drums II, the name of the pic.
Auditions were hasty,
But exceedingly tasty,
And everyone got in his lick!
Cc
We're glad they're not going to waste
These missives, inscribed in due haste
In fact, let's confer:
Could I interest you, sir
In a Coed that's grilled to your taste?
M
Please list, kind sir, your priority.
And we'll check with our sorority.
Is it raspberry red?
With plenty of head?
We're taking orders by seniority
Cc
A silvery moon, hung o'er the lagoon,
As Tonga to his lady did croon.
'Such beautiful eyes,
Magnificent thighs!'
He smiled as he picked up his spoon.
Cc
Crazy Coed, a charming delighter,
Fancied herself a limerick writer
But a cannibal critic,
Whose words were acidic,
Decided not to critique her, but bite 'er!
Pb
So then there's Pete Boggs, an artist quite grand.
He's surely a man, who sports a glad hand.
I'd love to embark,
In a boat made of bark,
On a journey to Pete's Jungle Island!
Cc
Cameron Diaz, while out on safari,
Was captured by King Tucumcari.
He stripped her, and later,
After he ate her,
Knew just what there was about Mary.
Cc
Pamela Lee skinny-dipped in the sea,
Between roles on the screen and TV.
But a fisherman glum,
Snagged a hook in her bum,
And now all her parts are Sushi!
Cc
I must admit, now, I am smitten
By the prose you've so adm'rably written
Do, come visit me
We can chat and have tea
Then, I'll have you for dinner, my kitten :)
M
Before acting upon your suggestion,
I really must ask you a question.
Could you give me a clue,
About your menu?
You see, I've a delicate digestion.
Cc
No problem, my little one, for
In the oven you'll find what's in store
There's nothing to hide
You can see what's inside
(Would you lean in a little bit more...?)
M
I know that you jest, but I'm calling your bluff.
I'll even strip off to my burnished blonde buff,
Bend over, then open,
The door to the oven,
So when you give in, just cry, 'Stop! Enough!'
Cc
I pull down the door, 'Tis roomy inside,
but not for a birdie or beastie to hide.
The grill is as bare,
As my derriere.
No goosey for chefie to show off his pride!
Cc
A roasting pan is all you see
No 'Hold, enough' comes forth from me
The oven slams shut
Just an inch from your butt
And when done, you'll be brown as can be
M
Oh, how rude! To just toss me nude,
Across the grill, like common food!
I'm due for a pout,
To protest this lout,
So here I'll crouch to simmer and brood!
Cc
'Well, I'm sorry such rudeness has faced you,'
I smile as I season and baste you
'My apologies, Hon,
But you'll soon be well done
And I really cannot wait to taste you!'
M
Firelight dances before my eyes,
Delicious dreams my thoughts comprise,
Of flesh so sweet,
From ass to teat,
I beg, 'Kind, sir. Please, cannibalize . . .'
cc
'Well, such invitation!' I grin
With a napkin tucked under my chin
From your loin I will take
Steaming, hot Coed steak
With a watering mouth, I dig in
M
This really was very great fun,
Though the rhymes put me under the gun,
So enjoy your repast,
Hope it won't be your last,
But for now Cozy Coed is done!
Cc
My thanks, fairest lady; this word
To the rest of the cannibal horde
Who needs ISP?
With ingenuity
You can RP on Gurgurant's board :)
M